8.3.11

8.3.11          Revisitng my journal after returning from Ghana...

There's been this ickyness in me that I don't like. I've had it before, but usually it's something I get upset about and keep it internal. This time it is a constant feeling of dissatisfaction. I know God wants more of me, but I spend some time in His Word and quickly move on. Maybe that's why I feel this way.

Even when I am around people I feel different. I receive things they say to me differently, too. God is telling me to keep things between me and Him only and it is hard not to share my true feelings with someone other than God. I have been hurt by conversations with friends that didn't go as I would have anticipated which brought about discouragement. After praying, God was faithful to answer me. I recognize the many blessings surrounding my friends lives and I find myself envious of each of them. I want to be able to share something exciting and here I am in this strange season, trying to sort out my experience in Ghana.  

Shortly after writing out my thoughts more in depth in my journal, I asked God for His perspective and the following is what He shared with me.

Katie,
Don't you know you are set apart and unable to relate to everyone  because I have you on a unique path? Stop getting so stressed and worked up about things internally. Step back, take a deep breath, and relax. Do what you enjoy. Stop looking at your friends lives and being envious. This season may feel lonely and painful, but it's still coming no matter what. You can respond to it however you choose. Remember, though, that I am always here with you and you can hear My voice. Don't forget the things I've already revealed to you- stay close to Me, include Me in everything, and rely on Me...because it is just you and Me. If you would stop looking to others and start looking to me first, you will be satisfied. Enjoy and embrace this unknown season. Otherwise you will look back and regret all the stress. Don't juggle so much and enjoy what you are doing in the moment. Prayer is so important in combating the enemy. Resist him and he will flee from you.

Then I heard these few songs on pandora on my sister's computer.

1) Satisfy- Tenth Avenue North

Satisfy me Lord oh oh
I'm begging you to help me see
Your all I want
Your all I need
Oh satisfy me Lord

In me, oh Lord, can you create
A pure heart cause I'm afraid
I just might run back to the things I hate

Your beautiful, your beautiful
Your more than all this world can give
Your beautiful, your beautiful
Your love is all I need to live

2) I Am Yours- The Afters

I can walk across the world and

Never find the answer

I could search the sky above

And never get any closer

You made it all

And I will have to fall

At the feet of the One

Who fell for me

You gave your life for mine

I have me by your side

I won't look back anymore

Now that I, I am yours

You'll never say goodbye

You're the reason why

I won't look back anymore

Now that I, I am yours

I am Yours             I belong to You

I am Yours             You and you alone

I am Yours              I belong to You

I am Yours             You and you alone

All the rest can disappear

Without any traces

I have nothing left to fear

As long as your face is

All I can see

You are all I need

Every breath, every step

You're here with me

3) Can't Get Away- Rush of Fools

I am an arrow

I am a rocket

I am a river

Nothing can stop it

Cause you are the target

And you are the atmosphere

You are the ocean

That keeps pulling me,

You're pulling me here

And I, can't get away

can't get away, can't get away

I keep running into you

I am so helpless

God, you are so able

And when I get turned around

You change my direction

You are so perfect

I am so broken

Here you come with arms wide open

Chasing after me down every road

You're always waiting there

Even when I close my eyes

I can't help but see

There's no place that I can hide

You're such a part of me

Another thing I've noticed about myself is that I point fingers at someone else easily. And often times, when I accuse someone of something it ends up coming right back at me when God humbles me and shows me that I struggle with the exact same problem.

Unhappy. That's a pretty clear way to describe how I feel lately. I'm up and down. Nothing really brings me joy like it used to. I am not thinking before I speak, which is unlike me.

From the book I was reading about David:

Themes in David's life:

1) When times are tough, God is our only security. (2 Samuel 22:2-3)

2) When our days are dark, the Lord is our only light. (2 Samuel 22: 21-31)

3) When our walk is weak, the Lord is our only strength. (2 Samuel 22: 32-40)

4) When our future is foggy, the Lord is our only hope. (2 Samuel 22:50-51)

Also from the book a quote from Charles Allen:

"When a person is suddenly alone, often panic and fear come. I distinctly remember my mother saying to me after my father's death. 'I cannot go on without him.  I depend upon him for everything.' My mother believed that, but she did go on without him...I feel that the most creative years of my mother's life were the years when she was forced to depend upon herself. She had her anxious moments, but somewhere along the way she learned the old expression 'Life by the yard is hard, but life by the inch is a cinch'. "

Further in the book the author states:

"We Christians, I have observed, frequently have trouble believing He is our only hope, security, light, and strength because we are so prone to try everything else. We automatically depend on everything except the Lord. Yet still He waits there for us- patiently waiting to show Himself strong."

"Soft heart and thick skin. That's the ticket, plain and simple. Not sensitive skin, so delicate that the slightest pinprick will damage it, but really thick. Rhinoceros thick. So that you can get punched around and punched around. Let me tell you, if you hope to be used by God, you need that kind of skin...The people who get the job done are those who are able to overlook all sorts of hurtful little comments people are going to make. When you walk through thorns, you have on heavy boots. You don't walk through thorns barefooted...at least not very far."

And of course, God's timing with my Jesus Calling Devotional is right on target:

WATCH YOUR WORDS DILIGENTLY. Words have such a great power to bless or to wound. When you speak carelessly or negatively, you damage others as well as yourself. This ability to verbalize is an awesome privilege, granted only to those I created in My image. You need help in wielding this mighty power responsibly.

Though the world applauds quick-witted retorts, My instructions about communication are quite different: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Ask My Spirit to help you whenever you speak. I have trained you to pray- "Help me, Holy Spirit" before answering the phone, and you have seen the benefits of the discipline. Simply apply the same discipline to communicating with people around you. If you are silent, pray before speaking to them. If they are talking, pray before responding. These are spirit-second prayers, but they put you in touch with My presence. In this way, your speaking comes under the control of My Spirit. As positive speech patterns replace negative ones, the increase in your Joy will amaze you.

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." Proverbs 12:18

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." James 1:1

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29



Revisiting my Journal AFTER Ghana...7/28-8/2/11

Tonight I was revisiting my video from Ghana and thinking back about how I felt when I came home earlier than planned. I realize this post is far overdue, but I can't help but finally reflect and share what was on my heart when I first got home from Ghana since I have come to realize that I have no regrets in going to Ghana, staying longer, and coming home sooner than planned. If you followed my facebook and blog posts when I was in Africa, you learned that it was very challenging for me to be in Ghana without a team of Christians supporting me. I did not realize what I was in for when I signed up to stay longer. However, I wouldn't change it for the world.

I left Accra, Ghana airport on July 25th (evening there, morning here) and arrived in LA around noon on July 26th.

Here are some words directly from my journal when I finally made it back to the States. Looking back and reading my journal reminds me of God's perfect timing and ability to speak to us so strongly because He is faithful. I will italicize the words that come directly from my journal so it is easier for you to read and understand and I don't have to explain myself often.

7.28.11 Two days later...

I've been experiencing some culture shock since I've been home, but I've also been adjusting well with the time change. I think that is because I stayed awake and tried to get back on track with the time change as best I can. (It is 7 hrs later in Ghana) Yesterday I think I went to the bathroom ten times, so my body must just be getting used to American food. I didn't realize that would happen, but it makes sense because the food I ate in Ghana was much different than American food, for the most part. When my dad was driving us home from dinner last night, I was looking out my window noticing the scenery and thought to myself, "Wow, there are actually nice homes and a park and no children waving at the car as they walk closely in the street half-naked at times. There aren't people selling things or walking and working on the side of the road and I'm not sitting in a car that feels and sounds like it's going to fall apart, full of many people. Instead, I'm sitting in a very comfortable and spacious car, without anyone next to me. I'm living a life in luxury compared to what life has been like for me the past five weeks." I'm thinking more about the kids and missing them, but I am also enjoying the comforts of being home. This entry was followed by a couple pages of journaling my prayers to the Lord.

7.29.11
God encouraged me through something I marked and read in Ghana about transition:

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

God dispenses life the way he manages cosmos: through seasons. Earthly seasons don't upset us, but unexpected personal ones do.

Are you on the eve of change? Do you find yourself looking into a new chapter? Is the foliage of your world showing signs of a new season? Heaven's message for you is clear: When everything else changes, God's presence never does. Your journey in the company of the Holy Spirit, who "will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I myself have told you" (John 14:26 NLT)

So make friends with whatever's next. Embrace it. Accept it. Don't resist it. Change is not only part of life, change is a necessary part of God's strategy. To use us to change the world, he alters our assignments. Gideon: From farmer to general. Mary: From peasant girl to mother of Christ. Paul: from local rabbi to world evangelist. God transitioned Joseph from a baby brother to an Egyptian prince. He changed David from a shepherd to a King. Peter wanted to fish the sea of Galilee. God called him to lead the first church. God makes reassignments. But he wants you to know: you'll never face the future without his help.

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the LORD upholds him with His hand." Psalm 37:23-24

Same day: I went to the Wild Animal Park with my sister and the little girl she babysits. I felt "yucky" and was being rude to her. We saw animals and walked around in circles. There were signs posted saying "African Safari this way" or something using the word Africa and I seriously thought "This is definitely NOT Africa" and had horrible other thoughts. It was not like me. I guess going there two days after coming home wasn't the brightest idea. The same day, I had a phone interview with Gerardy Photography and it went really well. I was myself and thankful God opened that door for me.

I didn't go to Ghana simply as a volunteer. I didn't go to Ghana to help. I went to Ghana as a Missionary, with a mission to spread God's love across the nation. My goal was to pour out His love onto everyone that I came into contact with and be a light in a dark place. As a Missionary, I am a disciple/follower of Christ and that comes with a cost. It came with responsibility and accountability.

Today was not a good day. There are so many things on my mind but I'm not exactly sure how to express them, but I'll try my best. I've had a very bad attitude, not been myself. I have no filter and I'm careless about what I say without much expression. I missed my family and time with them while I was in Ghana, but now I'm home and I'm easily irritated with them. I'm ready to be in a relationship. I feel like God is going to do surgery on my heart and me, removing "stuff" that isn't good and I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.

7.31.11

I feel as though there is chaos in my mind. I'm so anxious and I've been so busy and/or avoiding sitting at His feet that I haven't simply listened. Even being at Starbucks sitting here with God I don't have peace in my mind because I feel stressed. I am worried about not updating my supporters yet or writing a blog. I am feeling like I can't live my life based on my feelings. I keep talking to people and not to God. I sort of don't want to be around people. I guess it's normal to be feeling a bit strange coming home after being in Africa for 5 weeks. I know 3 weeks alone may not seem like that much to some people, but it is certainly a lot for me. It's weird having wanted to leave Ghana so badly and then coming home and something is just not sitting right. I've shared some things but it seems like I should have some big revelation or something and I don't. Maybe I'll just reread Jesus Calling and sermon stuff because they will encourage me and help me enter into His Presence.

Jesus Calling Devotional: (Very relevant)

TRUST ME IN THE DEPTHS of your being. It is there that I live in constant communion with you. When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will sometimes feel overwhelming. Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I am both with you and within you.

I am with you at all times, encouraging and supportive rather than condemning. I know that deep within you, where i live, My Peace is your continual experience. Slow down your pace of living for a time. Quiet your mind in My Presence. Then you will be able to hear Me bestowing the resurrection blessing: Peace be with you.

Next, God spoke to me through a word when I listened to Him.

Katie, Enjoy My Presence. Breathe in and out and enjoy this beautiful day. Stop stressing about hearing from me, about changes you want to make, about others. Simply rest and relax in My Presence. Stress can be the hindrance so let it go right now. Be still and know that I am God. Everything will work together for good when you hand it over to Me. You know Me and you know My character, so take time daily to listen to My voice and follow My leading. I know what I'm doing in you. It can be easier than you think and a much smoother process if you turn to Me first, the instant I nudge you. Let's work together and accomplish this quicker. Learn now and you will be thankful you did and you will walk in the abundant life I've given to you.

* The sermon this Sunday (today) was titled Strengthen Yourself. Again, impeccable timing on God's part. Even after a day of encouragement from the Pastor's message, I still felt discouraged.

I find myself turning in circles trying to find something to do. It's as if I'm avoiding God. I love to journal and read, but I won't sit down and simply do either. I want to text someone but I know it is unnecessary. I want to be on facebook but I know I spent time on it today and it won't satisfy. I want to eat something, but I'm not super hungry. I'm searching for that something to fill the gap in my heart, looking for something to satisfy. But why am I searching so hard when I know what I deep down desire and need the most which is right before me? I find it so interesting how I easily avoid something even though I know it brings true satisfaction. I suppose I am trained to seek after the things that don't satisfy (and I have a habit of doing this) so I need to show myself that I can resist those things. I mean, I want to make changes and I am capable, but it's going to take some discipline. I think I need to reread my blog about idols.

8.2.11

I began this day with journaling a few pages of prayers to God.

Jesus Calling Devotional:

BRING ME THE SACRIFICE of your time: a most precious commodity. In this action- addicted world, few of My children take time to sit quietly in My Presence. But for those who do, blessings will flow like streams of living water. I, the One from whom all blessings flow, am also blessed by our time together. This is a deep mystery; do not try to fathom it. Instead, glorify Me by delighting in Me. Enjoy Me now and forever!

"Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever." -Isak Anesen

Today I felt fairly stressed. I was stressed about what photos and words to share with my girls group (Women's Bible Study). I'm stressed because Brittany asked for a sitter Saturday and I am available but I'm not at the same time. God said say no so I can spend time with my family, but I'm "available" so I feel bad saying no, plus it is so she and Brian can go to a wedding. It was family vs. finances. Girls group was good, but I have a continual feeling of Just me and God and nobody will understand all that I went through in Ghana. I heard on the radio something about women liking to juggle. Juggling means that we are constantly catching and throwing. So, you're always thinking about what's next. We are to stop juggling so that we can focus on one thing at a time.

Processing Everything

If you actually "follow" my blog or read it, you will notice I haven't posted any new blogs in quite some time. There is definitely reasoning behind this. I love to write and I love to share what God is doing in my life as I pursue Him, so it has been a bit strange not having a desire to post any blogs regarding these things.

So, here it is...over the past eight months or so, God has began some crazy work inside of me. It's unexplainable, really. I don't even know where to begin. Someone gave me a word about immense growth over the next year and I am seeing that pan out clearly as each day comes and goes. Anyways, part of that growth entails processing everything. I want to share SO many things with those of you who read this and are part of my life, but I just can't seem to type them up yet. I believe God wants me to process everything before I can be confident and strong enough in what He's revealing to me. This new season in my life has been interesting for me, but God constantly reminds me it's Just me and Him. So, I've been writing in my journal and praying much more often than typing up a blog and really, truly pursuing Him. The title of my blog has new meaning to me as Iam now pursuing Him wholeheartedly and sincerely.

That being said, stay tuned if you are interested in hearing what God has been revealing to me. I've written many journal entries and look forward to sharing them with you soon. In the meantime, know that I am simply processing everything God has placed before me and letting it resonate in my heart before sharing it.

Unforgettable Moments in Ghana (Part 2)

If you haven't had the chance yet, I encourage you to watch the video I posted (click on or post the link in your url) in Unforgettable Moments in Ghana (Part 1). That blog describes the first half-ish of the video and now I will continue to give more details about the unforgettable moments in Ghana.

Salvation: This is a picture of myself, a man, and Kristina. We went to his house (He lives literally on the same street as the Orphanage) and prayed with him. People told us his wife was saved, but he wasn't and that he hadn't been to church in a very long time. So, we went and used the evange-cube to share the story of Jesus with him and he was so full of joy to receive the gift of salvation that God offered him through us. We prayed with him afterwards and gave him a Talking Bible. It was really neat. Every time I walked past his house and he was outside, he'd wave and still be full of joy. Sometimes I'd even hear his Talking Bible playing.

Eating at Doctor's house: I will never forget when we ate at Doctor's house. He invited us all over and as part of their culture they bless you with a meal. That is what we had- some sort of usual side dish (fufu, banku, or kenke) and a VERY spicy soup with a fish that still had eyes on it. Yup, that's right. Thankfully, Jay sat next to me and was kind enough to help me out. I did the best I could  but quickly became "full". I am SO sensitive to spicy foods and do not like fish, so this clearly was a challenge. I was so blessed to have Jay's help.

Additions to the team: Next is a group photo of the team plus some additions. Becka is in there and some women who work and or live at the house. Grace is also in this photo and she is the 19 year old girl who lives there and was very helpful to our team.

Zangu: This is a town Becka and I went to a few times. It is pretty much a Muslim community. We went to a woman's house who wanted her son to be cared for at the Orphanage. It was raining and Becka didn't quite understand what the woman was saying, so we all huddled under the shelter and spent time with the kids. These kids had never seen white people before, and would rub your skin and then rub their skin, thinking their skin would get lighter. And they wouldn't stop touching you and as you can see were so full of joy.

Alvaro: Alvaro is an amazing drink they have there made by Guinness, but non-alcoholic. It is a fruity soda type thing and there were three flavors- pear, passion fruit, and pineapple. SO good.

Bofruit: Bofruit was introduced to be after the team left by another volunteer. It is an amazing ball of dough, sorta like a doughnut. After I tasted them, I was on the hunt for them everywhere I went, but the best ones! And, this is a photo of me paying the girl who is carrying bofruit on her head. They come to your tro-tro's (vans) when you are traveling and you stop at a market area.

Fanmilk: Fanmilk is also amazing. Frozen vanilla yogurt in a bag for only about fifty cents. I also got some almost daily, every chance I had. You bite the corner of the bag and eat it that way.

Market: Going to the market was interesting. It always smelled, no matter what. Market days were crazy. There were so many people in a small amount of space. But, the market is what is so cultural about Ghana that somehow I'd still find myself walking to and from the market whenever I felt like going out and doing something.

Prampram: Prampram was unforgettable because it was the day that I became very homesick. Prampram is a town in Ghana near Accra, the capital city, about four hours away from Kpando, where I lived. Grace and I traveled there to visit people I had made connections with. My friends Beau and Andria attend a church in Escondido where they know Tara and John Eissen, who started Promise Land Ranch School in Prampram, Ghana. So, I met Tara before I left for Ghana (they live in the states) and then met up with her contacts in Ghana who live there. We stayed at a beautiful hotel near by and spent the day at the school with the children. Here are a few pictures from that. We only stayed one day because I was so homesick and needed to get back to my Home away from Home, the Orphanage. This was only a few days after the team left to head back to the states.

Class One: Class one at Anglican School is where I spent most of my time when I went to school. (It is the poorest of the poor public Anglican (Catholic) school. The teacher was always there and on time. She worked hard and never caned the children. She was so nice. I was drawn to her for some reason and even her class. I can't even remember how it happened, but I ended up helping her, encouraging her, and spending time with her class. I didn't offer much more than a couple hours a day and it wasn't even daily that I was in there, but I did what I could. I did spend a lot of time preparing something to teach her how to help her students practice writing. Regardless of what I did, I know the Lord's plan for me if anything on this trip was to bless her. On my last day there, she gave me a wood carving that was a statue. She told me the statue means love. LOVE is what God kept telling me I was to do/offer or whatever when I asked him about my purpose in Ghana. It was so rewarding helping out in class one and I'm thankful to know I made a small difference in their classroom and this teacher's life. I taught them a days of the week song and months of the year song, too. I literally just made them up because I couldn't remember them and they sang them every day!

Deborah: This little girl was in Becka's class and on the last day she said to me. Is this your last day? I will miss you. It was the sweetest thing and really meant a lot to me. Again, when you feel like you aren't making a difference, you see that one child recognizes something in you and that you meant something to them. It was sweet.

Dorcas: This girl goes to the special school. It is a beautiful secluded place that is for students with special needs. Her name is Dorcas, and I was so excited when I found that out because that same morning I met her, I was reading in the book of Acts about a girl named Dorcas. It was as if God was encouraging me to read my Bible because I wouldn't have known about Dorcas in the Bible had I not read it and meeting this girl wouldn't have been as meaningful.

Waterfall and Monkey Sanctuary: The waterfall was absolutely gorgeous. I was able to go twice and it was so beautiful! The first time I went was with the team and it was raining basically the entire hike there so I decided to go in the water with the girls. It was humid out so it felt nice anyways. We walked backwards together and yelled PEACE and almost made it to the other side of the waterfall. Grace and I were scared so we all came back and some of the other girls went back again to be successful at going under the waterfall. The monkey sanctuary was another beautiful treck through the rain forest to visit monkeys who would eat bananas straight from your hand.

Meet Me There: Meet Me There is a beautiful resort I went to with the other volunteers from the Orphanage. It was quite a few changing of transportation and a long ride there but we made it to the coast and stayed at this place for the weekend. It was on a lagoon but the beach was just across the lagoon. I sat under those palm trees on the lounge chair most of the weekend, reading my book, Bible, and journaling.

Dora's Family: I met a woman at church (Vista Assembly of God) before I left for Ghana who was born and raised in Ghana. In fact, she still has family there. She contacted them and gave me their contact information. Becka, Grace, and I spent a day with them. They were so kind to us and spoiled us. They live in Accra, the capital city so we got to eat Pizza and Ice Cream at the Accra Mall and then they took us to Chinese food the next day after their nephew's memorial service. They let us stay at their beautiful home and served us plenty of food and made us feel very welcome. Thank you, Dora!!

Ryvanz-Mia Orphanage: This is the place I lived for three weeks after the team left. There are 26 kids living there total, I think. I connected strongly with some of them as you can see in the pictures. It was harder for me to connect with the older kids, just like it is here.

The first picture is George. He is the little boy I saw in a previous volunteer's video on you-tube that I thought was absolutely adorable. We connected but didn't bond as well as some of the other kids. He's still such a cutie though as you can see.

Grace is amazing. She is so sweet. She helped me so much with so many things- language barriers, walking to and from town, traveling places, etc. She always put me first- carried my stuff for me (even though she teased me) and was such a good friend to me while I was in Ghana. I miss her a lot.

Mama Florence and I really connected. It's interesting because she couldn't speak English and I barely spoke Ewe, but we'd always shake hands and smile at each other for a good length of time. I believe this was my way of showing her God's love through me. She'd ask me How are you in EWE (Airway), the language they speak, and I would always guess my response because there were two ways to ask how are you and two ways to respond. I never knew what was correct, but we'd always laugh if I was wrong or smile if I was correct. It was a fun little game :) haha The next are a couple other Mama's at the house who lived there or helped cook and care for the children. I also connected well with Juliet and wish if I could turn back time I'd talk more personally with her. She speaks English and was a sweet woman. She was always sick with something though and I never offered or prayed for her on the spot, I always prayed in my head though. Another thing I wish I could go back in time and fix. Bummer! But, she was so sweet and just like Mama Florence, Juliet and I would spend more time together, just sitting next to each other and smiling. When I left on my last day, Juliet ducked her head to see me in the taxi, and that is what triggered me to cry. We had a strong connection. She is in the lime green shirt.

Christabel is in the other green shirt and she sowed the two dresses I am wearing in some of the pictures (blue and purple) I picked out the fabric and she measured me and made them.

Mama Esi started the Orphanage. We didn't connect strongly unfortunately, but she always asked me to say the prayer when we had a celebration dinner. It was cute. It is her house that I lived at and she works hard to care for all the children she has taken in.

Sister Maybel is the one who made me the little pencil pouch. She works upstairs at the house sewing with many woman and we had a stronger connection, too. She has a precious daughter and I bought some stuff that she sewed at the house. She waited a very long time for me to get home the day before I left to say bye to me. I was out longer than anticipated with Becka.

Then there's laundry, which was very challenging. I don't think I ever really knew what I was doing.You put a bar of soap and your clothes in a large bowl and scrubbed your clothes with the soap and then did some hand movement that apparently washed the clothes. I didn't really ever get it, or when I did, it didn't feel like I was doing anything. I basically ended up rubbing my clothes together a lot with soap for a while then putting them into another large bowl with just water for them to be rinsed out. After one rinse "cycle" you have to rinse them again to ensure the soap is completely out. Lastly, you'd ring you your clothes and place them in a small bucket which would then go to the clothes line to hang up your clothes to dry. I remember the first day I did laundry after the team left (when I was in dire need of it) it rained A LOT and I had to wear the same clothes for a few days. I know, totally gross, but fit right in actually. ;) And, the first day I did laundry, kids that used to live at the Orphanage were visiting and helped me! The second day thankfully it was sunny and when I was almost finished, these three adorable girls decided to help me finish. (Cicilia, Ackuluy, and Mirabel)

Love is the little boy who I let crawl into my lap often and I just held him. He was so stinkin' cute, as you can see.

Aka Chief: This boy was calling himself a chief in this outfit. I found it hilarious and unforgettable :)

Mauwli is the trouble kid who just needs love. He is always getting in trouble and needs the most attention but lacks respect. He was challenging to handle, but moments like these were cherishable.

Martin is Grace's brother. He always helped at the house and he lived at the Lodge that our team stayed at for the two weeks they were there. (walking distance to orphanage) Martin washed my shoes along with another person's and is so kind. This day, we both happened to be wearing our YOUME shirts (He got his from Jay) and it was also unforgettable because I kept calling in Anthony, which is another older boy who helped a lot at the house. (I felt so bad!)

A-kway-lay (Not sure spelling, but that's how you pronounce it) is my favorite. I know you aren't supposed to have favorites, but I couldn't help it. She would fall asleep on you any day or just be held. But she was also miss independent and love to do her own style of jump rope or play by herself. She is so tiny but so cute. I kept joking with her about going in my suitcase and coming home with me and she was totally for it. lol I wish I could have kept her! She has a twin brother, Oko, so I would have had to bring them both home...and another thing they each did daily was throw a tantrum.

Kwami- He was my little boyfriend. Always gave me a big hug when I got home from being out or when he got home from school. He was a little creeper as Becka called, but I thought he was adorable. When the kids were allowed upstairs at the beginning, he'd just sit in my room on the chair waiting for me to see him. lol He also always showed up randomly in pictures (as you can see him in my laundry one). I miss him a lot.

Celebration dinner was a huge feast. The kids normally eat dinner inside. At a celebration dinner, for someone's birthday,when the team left, when people helped out, when I left, etc is when we'd have a feast outside and it was a big party. The kids get to eat chicken and fried and or joloff (Spanish) rice, which is a special occasion. It cost about $100 to provide plenty of food for everyone. But, it was my favorite thing to do. I love people and spending time with them, so for my last night at the Orphanage, I paid for this party celebration and the women spent all day cooking for this night.

Little Ones: The little ones were my favorite. There is Oko, Prince, and Akwaylay.

Silas: Silas is another one of my favorites. He wasn't the youngest but he was young and adorable.

Emmanuel: He was also a difficult one who didn't listen to me much and I didn't know what to do. On the last day, somehow I managed to capture him smiling :) He lied to me and I joked with him calling a deceiver.

Everyone is in the last picture with me, and of course my little Akwaylay is closest to me :)

Unforgettable Moments in Ghana (Part 1)

I've been home for just over two weeks now and I've finally been able to put together a video with my most memorable/unforgettable moments from when I lived in Ghana this summer for five weeks. Click on the link below and you can view it at your leisure.  :) However, I'd like to share in detail with you why I chose the select few (yes, this is only a few, believe it or not, I took over 1,000 photos plus my team gave me some) and the meaning behind the unforgettable moments.

http://animoto.com/play/8w10IsXEOQQV9ivn5ngHIg

Team Ghana: Strong. Amazing. Family. The first photo is of my incredible team...minus two members who were already on the other side in Ghana for one week. My team consisted of Jay, Denise, Nathan, Barbara, Kristina, Kristal, Brianna, Me, Gayelee, and Morgan. Jay and Denise are married and very strong in the Lord. Nathan went on the last trip to Africa with me to Mozambique and acts as another father to me as well as my Redbull buddy. Barbara was the eldest on the team, 69 years old, but you wouldn't know it by looking at her, and this was the first mission trip she ever went on. (She heard Danielle and I speak at theMovement women's dinner and decided to go after that!)  Kristina is a Kindergarten teacher in Carlsbad, who is going to school at Bethel Church in Redding this fall (School of the Supernatural). Kristal is a girl who loves the Lord, her son, and playing worship music. Brianna is my dear friend from high school that the Lord reconnected me with last year and has been such a blessing to me. She is a student at SDSU studying child development. Me, well, I hope if you're reading this you know me...lol But, I'd classify myself as a woman after God's own heart, nicknamed Davida, who is now a California Credentialed Teacher. Gayelee is the pastor of Cross Connection Outreach (the organization I've been to Africa with twice now) and is a very strong woman of God with a powerful spirit that is contagious. And Morgan, last but not least, Gayelee's sweet daughter who just graduated from high school and will be going off to college soon to pursue a career in musical theater...she has a phenomenal voice. Strong. Ever since the beginning, during our team meetings, I knew this team was going to be strong, and that is the word God kept putting on my heart. Amazing. Someone else on the team had the word amazing for our team and now I can understand why! Family. You become family when you are on a Mission Trip because you spend two weeks straight all the time with the same people. We all used our strengths to build each other up and it was incredible to see the Lord work through and in each of us. I definitely consider them all family now and look forward to being lifelong friends with each of them.

Airport Delay: The second picture is of two of the many African people we met at the Airport in New York during the time that we arrived and missed our flight, while waiting for Delta to book us a hotel room that was available. We needed a hotel room because our next flight to Ghana wasn't until Sunday evening. (We arrived in NY on Friday very late evening) See previous blog for more details titled Just the Beginning... where I highlight delayed with a purpose.

Walking on Holy Ground: Before leaving for Ghana, a woman had given Brianna and I a word from the Lord about walking on holy ground. Somehow, amidst my 20 something journals, I can't find the exact word she gave us. However, I do remember this woman said "To my missionary daughters, the ground you will be walking on is holy ground." And, I thought it was so neat how at the very first Bible Distribution, we had to take off our shoes/sandals and walk barefoot. I wanted to do that anyways, but God gave us the opportunity to and it was neat to see this word play out and be able to experience what life is like walking in Africa without shoes as that is part of their culture.

Bible Distributions: Each Bible Distribution is different. It is different because each church that we go to is different. Some are outside and some are inside. Some are big, some are small. Some are REALLY big. (Last day) The first distribution we did was unforgettable because the people in the church greeted us with the lovely song and it is Mama's church (the women that owns the Orphanage), she is the one who walked past the camera and said "You are Welcome". I know it happened quickly so it's hard to see/hear her. It is also a church that we learned what works and what doesn't work with teaching the kids. One thing that they enjoyed was a song Kristal prepared titled Freedom. The chorus is what they were singing in the second video.

Leper Colony:

When Becka and I returned to the Leper colony after the team went home, something neat happened that made me smile really big and laugh at the same time. We wanted to follow up and see how everything is going. So, upon arrival we were walking up and I heard some Christian music playing. There were other Missionaries there! I was SO excited, in fact, I was far too excited that suddenly I slipped and ate it...right in the mud! I had mud all over me, on my legs, skirt, shirt, hands, bag. It was ridiculous how dirty I got and how that happened. (It rained the day before) So, we get there, and this girl runs up and gives me a great big hug from behind. It was the sweetest thing ever. And, guess who it was? My friend from before, who helped Kristina and I. She saw how muddy I was and walked me to her house and began washing my feet and legs. She then got a skirt from her house and we exchanged clothes so that she could wash my skirt. (In Ghana, they are so hospitable, and they are so thoughtful. It was so kind of her to go to all this trouble for me!) So, there I am, with this girl, in her skirt. She kept mine and I kept hers and I told her "Now you can think of me when you wear it." I told her I will get her skirt back to her, and she said, "No, now you can think of me when you wear it." It was really cute. And, by the time we walked back to where the people were gathered, the Christian people were literally all in their van, driving away. Sad day. But, worth it ;) And, when we walked back to the street, the girl walked us until we got into our taxi (That is also Ghana culture, to walk people out) and we stopped where I slipped. The best part about it, there was a completely dry place to walk right down the middle, and I obviously wasn't paying attention because you can clearly see my markage from slipping. I think I was so distracted by the Christian music and meeting other Missionaries that I wasn't watching where I was walking. :) haha

Sweet Monica: I remember meeting this sweet girl somewhere, but I couldn't remember where. I saw her at Anglican School and knew I saw her before. I actually remembered her name was Monica and having met her previously but just not sure where. She never really spoke so I couldn't figure out where I met her. She'd just give me cute little grins when I'd tell her I remember her and try to ask about different places we may have met. Eventually, I remembered it was at Culture Day, our first day in Ghana as a team. That is where all the schools come together and compete in plays and different things at this big park. Sweet Monica ended up being in Class One, the class I spent most of my time with and I continued to see her at Anglican school when I went with Becka. I remember noticing a small scar on her face one day. Later on, it became as big as the second picture of Sweet Monica. Becka saw it and knew we needed to get her to the Hospital. The class one teacher took us to Monica's house, where she lives with her grandparents, cousins, and older siblings. The teacher explained to the grandparents that we were going to take her to the hospital. Her brother, that is only a few years older than her, came with us. (Keep in mind, this happened around noon, and Becka and I left her class without a teacher and with homework) We took Sweet Monica to the hospital that Becka knows the Doctor of, St. Patrick's. In going there, we passed the other hospital in which we saw her two older sisters, who are nurses. Apparently they didn't seem to care that their sister's face looked this way. So sad. We went to the Doctor after the nurse at St. Patrick's saw her and he gave her treatment to use for one week. The Doctor ended up paying for her treatment. It was very kind of him. And, the last picture of Sweet Monica is the way her face looked after the treatment! :)

Bible Distribution: As I stated above, each Bible Distribution is very different. This one, I'll never forget the joy this woman had as you can see as she laughs in the photo. She let me hold her precious daughter. This is the same woman I joked with when she said she liked my skirt...I told her "I'll trade you my skirt for your daughter" Shortly after I learned from Becka that you don't joke about those types of things because they may take you seriously. The picture of me with the children is when I was teaching them what a "High-Five" is. It was fun to teach them something so simple that we do so often here in the states and they have never seen out there.

Africa Hair: I decided to get my hair done with a friend from the team. I got my hair twisted and she got her hair braided. I didn't put a photo of us both in here, but you can see the process of twisting and the finished product. We sat for a total of four hours, two hours per person, I think. Or maybe it was four hours each. I can't remember, but it took a really long time! They added hair to our hair to make it long. Then, a day or two later, you return and they burn the bottom edges of the hair (it's not actually your real hair they burn because it's at a length further than your own hair) and then cut it to make it look nice. It was fun to have my hair like this, and very easy. I didn't have to wash it. But, it was heavy and it began falling out because I got it wet when I wasn't supposed to. Eventually, some of the kids and Becka helped me untwist them and I definitely felt much lighter and my hair was much less, and I shed like crazy. It was worth it though! :)

Pastor Anthony's Village: We taught the children in Pastor Anthony's village how to play Red Light, Green Light. That is a picture of all of us running during the game. The loved it! Thankfully, God provided us with their teacher who did an awesome job translating and engaging in it all with us. Pastor Anthony is an incredible man of God who lives in a village far out in the bush. While some of us were entertaining the children, the rest of the team distributed the Talking Bibles and offered prayer. Almost all the people raised their hands for prayer and joined hands in a huge circle around a big tree. I walked over and began helping the team pray for people. That is the next photo. This man was HEALED of his BLINDNESS. No joke, it was amazing. I saw it happen and prayed for it. I couldn't even believe it myself. haha I have always wanted to see a miracle like this happen before my eyes, and I knew God could perform them, so it was such a blessing to really be able to partake in it. Kristina and I prayed for this man three times. The third time, I felt something different, and Kristina had me pray for him. I think that something different was this thing called FAITH. So, when his sight was restored, I was so blown away. I asked him three times, literally, each time stepping backwards a couple steps, asking him to tell me how many fingers I was holding up, and each time he answered correctly. I literally did a victory dance after that, jumping up and down with my hands raised, full of joy.

Church: I had a vision before I went to Ghana of myself dancing freely in a church, without a care in this world. It came true in this church called Breakthrough. It was when we did a Bible Distribution and the worship was so upbeat and fun, all the kids were dancing. The scripture on the building resonated with me and my vision came true that day. It was so fun! I sweat a lot (it was SO hot that day) but it was so worth it. Then we spent some time with the children there and I met a little girl who had matching hair as me.

Adorable kids: Next I posted a picture of these adorable children I interacted with at another Bible Distribution. Check out the kid's underwear and butt crack hanging out and the other precious child.

E-Cube: We practiced doing the E-Cube at home during our meetings before we left for Ghana. Now I was using it in Ghana. The E-Cube is an evangelical tool that tells the story of Jesus and how to become saved on a rubex cube type thing.

Anglican School with the Team: The video of "Jesus Loves Me" is absolutely adorable. I like to call it Jesus Loves Me, Africa style. That day was quite interesting. We went to the school Becka teaches at to entertain the students and help give the teachers strategies for teaching. Becka warned us about them being a tough crowd, so I honestly was intimidated. But, the opposite actually ended up happening. She joked saying that they weren't Anglican kids that day. So, there were MANY of them, as you can see. And, Pastor Gayelee pulled me aside while they were singing. She told me I was going to tell the children why we are here and talk about David and Goliath briefly before we do the skit. I began to cry and she asked why I was crying and I told her I'm so happy I can't believe this is really happening. lol I pulled myself together, said a prayer, and got up there and spoke. It stretched me but was worth it.

Soviet: Oh, the town of Soviet is really unforgettable. Check out those hundreds of people, mostly children, who joined us inside a church. (The picture with tons of kids inside a church with pink walls) It was two churches combined. All of us were doing the best we could to entertain these massive amounts of people, and they sang some songs with us so that was pretty good. All of a sudden, Pastor Gayelee came back and said "We've got to get out of here, guys. Let's go now. Come on, we're all getting in the van now" We were clueless but followed orders of the team leader, and it all happened pretty quickly. She told us to begin praying over this town and the church. Thankfully, Becka has made quite a few connections in Ghana, so we went to a man named Uncle Kofi's house. He welcomed us into his home and gave us soda and cookies. (Another cultural thing to do, give food and drinks to people you have over at your house, or give a "love offering" to them when they bless you) *Keep in mind, this is a town that apparently Satan didn't want the Bibles to be distributed in. We planned to go to Soviet the day that we were delayed at the Airport, so couldn't go then. Then we planned to go another time but something else got in the way ( I can't remember what) Finally we were able to go to this town and look what happened as a result. Thankfully, Gayelee used discernment and was able to hear from the Lord about this whole situation. She stressed the purpose of the Talking Bibles to Uncle Kofi. (To get in the hands of people who can't read or can't see so that they can hear the Word of God in their native language)  He sent for people to come to his house that he knew fell into this category. We completed the Bible Distribution. It was more intimate and personal this way. I remember praying for this woman and teaching her how to use her Talking Bible. It actually ended up turning out very nicely. Becka and I returned to Soviet to follow up with this man and to visit an unused building for Pastor Anthony's potential Orphanage and the children were so cute! They remembered my name and the songs we taught them. That's the video of them singing "No more shackles, no more chains, no more shackles, I am free" and me with all of them. (A few kids from hundreds remembered all this...that's what it's all about!)

Teaching in Africa

Teaching in Africa is VERY different than teaching in America in many ways. School begins around 8:00 a.m. and ends around 2:00 p.m. Students come late to class and even the teachers do, too. (I am guilty of this, too) Teachers sleep during class. Students sleep during class. Students don't care about learning (most of them) Class sizes are larger (37) in most cases. Students hi one another. Teachers "cane" students for not doing their homework or whatever reason they decide. That is when teachers use a "cane" / stick to hit children. Students come and go to class as they please. Students stand and greet you when you enter the classroom. "You Are Welcome, Madame. How are you?" Age range of students vary because many students repeat the class when they don't pass. To sum it all up, there is no consistency with school so it makes sense that all of the above is happening. I am not known as Ms. Elder, but instead Madame Katie.

My role as a teacher in Ghana has been inconsistent. I didn't know what it should like like and even though I have just less than two weeks left, I am still figuring out what I can do to help the school. I've been going with Becka to Anglican school. It is the poorest of the poor. Honestly, it is really hard because I want to make a huge impact and change as much as I can for the better but that is unrealistic at this point. Maybe when I get home I will be able to reflect and pray more about it and God will guide me with what is next in regards to me teaching in Africa in the future. One thing too is that I'm recognizing I can't do everything so I've got to find one thing that I can do and make an impact.

My experiences with teaching in Africa so far are as follows.

First, I observed Becka teaching class 5 (5th grade). The students had a good day and a not so good day, meaning one day they were interested in learning and behaving better and the other day they didn't care and misbehaved often. It seemed as though Becka did more disciplining than teaching. She shouted at them often (seems necessary here though to catch their attention and the culture generally speaks louder anyways). Some students were sent outside to weed (cut weeds with a machete) until after break as a consequence for misbehaving or not listening to the directions from the teacher. At one point, Becka sent all of the kids who were wanting to learn at the front of the class. It was basically one third of the class. The back half of the class were supposed to listen still, but she wasn't acknowledging them. Becka's class had to memorize a poem and had 3 weeks to do so because she was busy with the Talking Bible project. Only four of the students were able to complete the poem and say it all.

Second, I spent time in class 1 (first grade). I am not even sure how I ended up in that class but the teacher is very great. She teaches well and enjoys teaching. She wants to be there. I helped her learn the days of the week and months of the year songs and teach it to her class. It was so cute to hear the children sing these songs especially when I left the classroom and they were still practicing it. It was rewarding for sure. I felt like I accomplished something and could go home happy knowing that I made a small difference in one classroom at Anglican. I continue to go to this class whenever I go to school. The teacher and I went to buy school materials and I created books for the students to practice writing the letters of the alphabet. Being in this woman's class has been nothing but a good experience. Her students want to learn and she doesn't cane them.



Lastly, I taught class 4 (4th grade). I only taught them for a short time but it was when they had math problems on the board. They were doing multiplication problems so I helped them with it. Then the teacher came in and it was the man who enjoys caning. I told him I was finished and he said I could stay but I didn't know what else to do. Later I saw him cane someone and it broke my heart. I don't think there is any change I can make to that because it is "their culture" and they think it's effective. I don't want to sit back and watch it happen because that seems as if I am accepting it. Maybe I will question why they do it and explain what it is teaching the students.

Overall, teaching in Africa thus far has been quite an experience. I was shocked and overwhelmed by what I saw the first day I went to school. I am still blown away by it but I understand more of why it is this way. Teachers, imagine your toughest student without support multiplied by your entire class. I've gained a new appreciation for American schools since I've been here. I am actually looking forward to teaching in the states when I return. I recognize some things will remain the same such as students who don't listen, but I see that in a whole new way now. I definitely want to come back to Africa and still teach here, but I'm just not sure what that looks like yet. I will be reflecting and praying as I return home to pursue that more. As of the rest of my time teaching in Africa, I'll be spending it in class one. Tomorrow will probably be my last day because we are going out of town this weekend and next week the students have exams and we are following up on the Talking Bible Project.

Embrace every moment.

There are many things that I've experienced here that pictures don't do justice. I am certainly taking photos but it is mostly to show you all and look back on. There are many moments where I feel God telling me to simply embrace each moment because you can't turn back time.

Last Saturday, I was enjoying a peaceful walk through the rainforest to see monkeys and a waterfall. It was absolutely beautiful. I felt the Lord tell me enjoy this very moment while I was walking. Even when a young girl held my hand God reminded me how precious that is and that I can't duplicate that very moment. It made me think about parents who have children and blog about them or share about cute things the children say or do that are priceless. :)

On Sunday, I was walking to church and carrying the youngest girl from the Orphanage on my back while holding another boy's hand the entire time. Again, a precious moment that the Lord reminded me to embrace. On the way home from church, I was walking with all 27 kids and we stopped at their teacher/tutor's house. He broke his leg playing soccer and we were stopping there to pray for him. It took me a while before I understood all of that, but it was so neat to squeeze all the children into his small room and be able to pray for this man. Then I asked one of the boys to pray for him as well.

Becka and I went to a town that we hadn't really visited before and not too many white people visit apparently. The children were touching our skin and rubbing themselves as if they would take some of our lighter skin color and put it on theirs so that they could be lighter. It was super cute. They kept touching us, and wanted to be holding our hands or something at all times.

The other night I was upstairs on the phone with a friend. After I got off, I heard some people singing. Churches are close by and everywhere so I assumed there was a church service going on. When I went downstairs, I realized it was actually all of the children in the Orphanage singing. I picked up the smallest girl who was sleeping and rocked her in my arms as the children sang "I am so glad for this day, I am so glad for this day, I thank you, I thank you, I thank you for my life, I thank you, I thank you, I thank you for this day" in English and Ewe. Another moment where I did not have my camera and it was pouring rain outside so I could not get my camera. I was forced to embrace this moment and it was well worth it. :)

Since my last blog, things have changed greatly. I feel much better and have a new attitude and mindset. I officially changed my flight so I am coming home one month earlier than my original plan. This means I only have 1 1/2 weeks left here in Ghana. I feel very good about this decision and look forward to reflecting on everything as I travel home. I leave Ghana July 25th and arrive in the states on July 26th. I am guessing that changing my departure date has contributed to my new mind and Spirit since now I only have a short time left in Ghana. I am really enjoying it and will miss it. I also believe it is the many prayers and words of encouragement that I have received which have also greatly contributed to this change. THANK YOU if you are and have been praying for me and sending encouraging words. I really appreciate them all.

So, my encouragement to you is to EMBRACE EVERY MOMENT. Don't let anything slip past you and don't regret not doing something because you don't feel like it or whatever excuse you may make. Embrace each day that is given to you and embrace each moment that is before you, wherever it is and whatever it is you are doing. This is a great lesson I've learned here and I look forward to bringing back home with me. I hope that as I return I am able to continue with it.