There are many things that I've experienced here that pictures don't do justice. I am certainly taking photos but it is mostly to show you all and look back on. There are many moments where I feel God telling me to simply embrace each moment because you can't turn back time.
Last Saturday, I was enjoying a peaceful walk through the rainforest to see monkeys and a waterfall. It was absolutely beautiful. I felt the Lord tell me enjoy this very moment while I was walking. Even when a young girl held my hand God reminded me how precious that is and that I can't duplicate that very moment. It made me think about parents who have children and blog about them or share about cute things the children say or do that are priceless. :)
On Sunday, I was walking to church and carrying the youngest girl from the Orphanage on my back while holding another boy's hand the entire time. Again, a precious moment that the Lord reminded me to embrace. On the way home from church, I was walking with all 27 kids and we stopped at their teacher/tutor's house. He broke his leg playing soccer and we were stopping there to pray for him. It took me a while before I understood all of that, but it was so neat to squeeze all the children into his small room and be able to pray for this man. Then I asked one of the boys to pray for him as well.
Becka and I went to a town that we hadn't really visited before and not too many white people visit apparently. The children were touching our skin and rubbing themselves as if they would take some of our lighter skin color and put it on theirs so that they could be lighter. It was super cute. They kept touching us, and wanted to be holding our hands or something at all times.
The other night I was upstairs on the phone with a friend. After I got off, I heard some people singing. Churches are close by and everywhere so I assumed there was a church service going on. When I went downstairs, I realized it was actually all of the children in the Orphanage singing. I picked up the smallest girl who was sleeping and rocked her in my arms as the children sang "I am so glad for this day, I am so glad for this day, I thank you, I thank you, I thank you for my life, I thank you, I thank you, I thank you for this day" in English and Ewe. Another moment where I did not have my camera and it was pouring rain outside so I could not get my camera. I was forced to embrace this moment and it was well worth it. :)
Since my last blog, things have changed greatly. I feel much better and have a new attitude and mindset. I officially changed my flight so I am coming home one month earlier than my original plan. This means I only have 1 1/2 weeks left here in Ghana. I feel very good about this decision and look forward to reflecting on everything as I travel home. I leave Ghana July 25th and arrive in the states on July 26th. I am guessing that changing my departure date has contributed to my new mind and Spirit since now I only have a short time left in Ghana. I am really enjoying it and will miss it. I also believe it is the many prayers and words of encouragement that I have received which have also greatly contributed to this change. THANK YOU if you are and have been praying for me and sending encouraging words. I really appreciate them all.
So, my encouragement to you is to EMBRACE EVERY MOMENT. Don't let anything slip past you and don't regret not doing something because you don't feel like it or whatever excuse you may make. Embrace each day that is given to you and embrace each moment that is before you, wherever it is and whatever it is you are doing. This is a great lesson I've learned here and I look forward to bringing back home with me. I hope that as I return I am able to continue with it.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Homesick.
It’s been a little over two weeks now that I have been in Ghana and not a day goes by that I am missing home. Just to be honest. Living here is much harder than I thought. In fact, the challenges that I wrote on my prayer list have not been as challenging as I thought they would be. (Maybe that is because I have all you faithful prayer warriors praying for me) But, what I find the most challenging is being far from friends and family and being “alone”. I never would have thought that the biggest hindrance for me during my trip to Africa would be homesickness.
I remember back to when I was home preparing for this trip and everything was coming together. The finances, the encouragement, the scriptures, the prophetic words…there was no question that God’s will for me was for me to come to Ghana and stay for an extended time after my team headed home. And, now that I am here, I am experiencing tremendous amounts of warfare and daily wondering what I am doing here. I left home calling myself Davida, a woman after God’s heart.
It’s pretty amazing how challenging it is to literally live by faith. I came to Ghana solely because God told me to go. I said yes to His calling. Sure, I love kids. Sure, I love Africa. Sure, I love serving God. But, the main reason I came to Ghana was because God told me to go and I was being obedient to Him. It seemed easy to say yes especially because everything fell into place. Little did I know what I was in for after my team left- loneliness, lack of passion for Africa, desire to be home, and questioning what my role is in staying for two months.
It took me some time but I finally realized that I cannot do this on my own and I need God’s help to make it through each and every day that I am here in Ghana. I learned that in order to do so, I must spend time listening to worship music, journaling, praying, and reading my Bible. Just as these are spiritual disciplines at home, they are the same here too. I noticed a change in my attitude and day when I chose to put God first in the morning.
I also learned that even though I am remaining connected to God, there is still a spiritual battle going on that I am entangled in. Spiritual warfare is something that I read about prior to coming and even experienced at home. However, I am on the frontline of the battlefield out here right now. Satan is not happy that I am here and he is doing everything in his power to remove me from completing God’s purpose for me here in Ghana.
Today I experienced the worst of this spiritual warfare. I became incredibly homesick, the most yet. I was ready for my mom to change my flight so that I could come home on Sunday. I texted most people that I knew were praying for me and asked for prayer. I talked to a few people from the states and received encouragement and support. I finally let out a cry.
The things that I was sharing with these people that were on my mind were as follows. I felt as though I have not been myself here. I put on a fake smile and try to be joyful everyday. I don’t have the same passion for Africa and the people here like I did before I came and when the team was here. I was discouraged about many things. The culture is so different- lots of waiting time and no rush, most of the time entails being late. The children beat/hit each other often and I don’t know how to stop it. The teachers even sometimes beat the children. Apparently it is called “caning” because they use a cane to hit the children. Isn’t that abuse? I was battling today thinking there is no way I can change this part of the culture. I tried telling a child not to hit/fight and he didn’t listen. I told him a few times. Also, the teachers don’t even watch the kids during break. They take a break, too and let the kids play and do whatever on school grounds. Children here do many things independently, even walking on the side of the road with cars passing at fast speeds is not something you see in America. I tried teaching today and the kids were not so into what I was teaching them and I gave up. I do not know what I am doing here and if I am feeling miserable and being fake, what good is that doing me and anybody else?
My friends responses were either stick it out and give it more time, or don’t worry about other people’s responses if you come home early as long as you hear God’s voice and He gives you permission. My phone eventually died and all I had ahead of me was a four hour “tro tro” ride in a van from Prampram to Kpando with my friend Grace. That was plenty of time to pray and reflect on everything. As we were traveling, I felt something change. It must have been the prayers from people because I felt at peace. I thought to myself I will stay for one more month because that is meeting in the middle and I won’t be giving up if I do that. I asked God to make it more clear to me, to speak to me as we travel back.
In Ghana, there are stores and places that contain names with God in them or religious of some sort. They are literally everywhere so I asked God to reveal some to me that pertained to my situation. Sure enough, He did. Here are the ones that I saw while we were driving that stood out to me the most. GOD FIRST. PRAYER IS THE KEY. JUST SMILE. NOT I, BUT CHRIST. PSALM 39. At this point, it was pretty clear to me. I need to keep putting God first. Prayer is the key to living an abundant life here in Ghana. My purpose is simply to just smile. I am not here because I “want” to be here, but because of Christ choosing me.
Here are some other encouraging words that I’ve received recently from people that pertain to all of the above.
In a card from a friend at home: Remember that God has already gone before you and prepared the path, all you have to do is PRAYERfully take ONE STEP forward at a time, and He will do the rest.
A word from a friend before I left: Don’t look up from where God has you. Don’t ever give the storms a second look. The waters will never overcome you. Isaiah 43:1-3 and Luke 10:19
Jesus Calling Devotional: Discipline your thoughts to trust Me as I work My ways in your life. Pray about everything; then leave outcomes up to Me. Do not fear My will, for through it I accomplish what is best for you.
From a friend’s bookmark, in an email: GOD IS WITH YOU. Although each day brings challenges and things that are unknown, you don’t need to face them alone. For others care about you and will keep you close in prayer. And, above all, God will guide you- for His love is always there. – Emily Matthews
DON’T QUIT. When things go wrong as they sometimes will. When the road your trudging on seems all uphill. When the funds are low, and the debts are high. And you want to smile but you have to sigh. When care is pressing down a bit, Rest if you must, but don’t you quit. Life is strange with its twists and turns. As everyone of us sometimes learns And many a failure turns about when he migt have won had he stuck it out. Don’t give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed with another blow. Success is failure turned upside down, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you can never tell how close you are, it may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit. It’s when things seem the worst, that you must not quit.
From the travel agent, whom I don’t know very well: The Lord showed me a basket of pomegranates…and as the basket was emptied, the fruit continued to flow…it was an “abundance” that came to mind…and then, I thought of the fruit and its many seeds…and it was then that I thought of how one fruit can multiply into many trees and I saw trees for as far away as the eye could see and they were full of fruit, and the sun shining brightly upon them. *I think this speaks to your own relationship with the Lord, the fruit of your labor, and the riches of His grace. Jesus says you can do nothing apart from Me, but in Him, you are filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. He is calling you to a place of deeper intimacy and reliance on Him. You don’t have to “do” anything, but be a conduit of His love. I see a revelation of His grace that will bear much fruit.
Devotional from a friend: Paul learned that the only way to experience God’s power is in our weakness. If we think we can do something on our own, God lets us, that we will never know God’s transforming power in our lives until we acknowledge our inability.
Songs at church the kids were singing: Through it all, I have learned to trust in Jesus. Through it all, I have learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all, I have learned to depend on His word.
All that being said, I have decided to stay one more month. My mom is looking into changing the flight so that I can leave Ghana July 25th instead of August 24th. Becka has challenged me to not use the internet or my phone for three days. She said that probably has to do with my homesickness. So, if you email me, text me, or call me within the next few days, I apologize in advance for not responding. I think this will be good for me so that I can fully immerse myself in the culture and what God has for me here in Ghana. Whenever I pray, I also recognize that I may not know God’s purpose for me here in Ghana ever or this time around. Please continue to pray for me as I enter into this daily battle. Miss you and love you dearly and I really appreciate your prayers and support.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Just the beginning...
It is already day 15 here in Ghana for me! I think there is far too much for me to catch up on so I will try to recap the highlights of the trip as best I can. I bought credits for my friend Becka to have unlimited internet, so hopefully I will be able to give more updates. She has a computer here with her at the Orphanage that I am using right now.
Many delays on our way to Ghana:
1. Engine check at LAX caused our flight to leave at 10:15 am instead of 8:30am. 2. Bad weather at JFK airport caused pilot to circle around a couple of times before landing. JFK Airport was shut down so we flew to Syracuse airport and stayed there until JFK opened again. 3. Our flight out of JFK to Accra, Ghana was held for two hours but we landed 10 minutes after it took off (11:45pm) We were supposed to land at JFK at 5:30pm! 4. Waited in 4 hour line for accommodations for the team (Thanks, Denise for standing all that time!) 5. Slept at the airport overnight, journaled, read, etc. 6. Shuttle to hotel accommodation was more waiting. 7. Waited at hotel before able to move into room. 8. Waited at hotel for two hours before we could eat dinner
-Next day, flight left in the evening so the girls had fellowship and worship time at hotel, getting to know one another better. This was an extra day for resting and relaxing before we got to Ghana and hit the ground running.
Purpose of delays?
1. Met people from Ghana and Senegal at the JFK Airport when we were waiting overnight and during the day to head to the hotel. (22 people on their way to Ohio to learn how to coach soccer) 2. Shared the Evange-cube (story of Jesus on a rubex cube type thing) with them and let them have it to take home with them. 3. Gave them a Talking Bible 4. Divine appointment that we prayed for before leaving San Diego 5. Witnessing to others around us; we didn’t want to leave because we made such great friends with them. We showed love between two different cultures by getting to know them and praying for them in a big circle before we left. 6. Preparation for Ghana time- Lots of waiting and very slow pace in Ghana
*At first we didn’t understand why we missed our flight and went through all of this waiting until after. We lost two days of being in Ghana, but as a team, we came together in patience and this experience brought about more unity. We were able to rest up so that when we arrived in Ghana we were ready for the work ahead of us.
As a reflection thus far into the trip, I wrote in my journal:
Can’t rush God’s timing. Rest up so you can push through and work hard. Reward for patience = hotel and good food. Divine appointment prayer was answered. 2 Corinthians 2:14 “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.” 2 Corinthians 2:15-16 “For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.” Brianna found these scriptures and they were so fitting and timely. Jay said his prayer was that wherever we go, people will sense God’s presence and feel it. They will see something different. He prayed this and I thought about this as I prayed before our team left, too. That wherever we’d walk, people would see something different and feel it. I didn’t think it would happen before we got to Ghana territory, though.
Finally in Ghana:
First Bible distribution entailed taking off our shoes, which brought true a word a woman gave Brianna and I about being missionaries walking on Holy ground. Working with the children here was challenging. We had a translator but he didn’t even understand the message I was teaching. So, we adjusted and learned from it as best as we could. Went to culture day, where many schools come together and compete doing plays and stuff. Morgan fainted because it was very hot and so she went back to the hospital and the rest of the team headed to the Orphanage.
Lunch was sardines and Kenke , not really sure how to describe it. Played at the Orphanage with the kids, then had chicken, rice, and salad for dinner (my favorite!) J
Next day:
Breakfast was hardboiled egg, tea bread (amazing sweet bread), and tea/coffee/hot chocolate. Bible Distribution (handing out talking Bibles) at a church nearby. I taught a blind woman how to use her Talking Bible and that was a neat experience. Afterwards, we went to the pastor’s home and he served us crackers and a drink called Malta (also indescribable and not tasty at all) *Everywhere you go and bless people, they give you a gift in return. You have to eat it and drink it out of respect to them and toughen up if you don’t like it…then pray your stomach can handle it when you are finished ;) The bathroom here was concrete, and I couldn’t go because I didn’t want to make the team wait, but I did attempt. Lol
*Also, everywhere you go, people greet you by saying “You Are Welcome” It is really nice. Everyone here is very nice. I slipped and people around me apologized for me being clumsy! Haha
Leper Colony:
Before we went to the Leper colony, I prayed that I would see these people as God does, to have the same perspective as Him. I wanted to treat them the same as all the other Africans I’ve met so far. God certainly helped me with that. I never saw any wounds though because they were covered when we were there. The entire team worked together to make this a successful bible distribution. We learned what worked and didn’t work from the previous one, so it was completed effectively and efficiently. I prayed over many people with Kristina here. Two women that I prayed for and did not receive a Talking Bible were kind enough to help Kristina and I with the language in asking people if they would like prayer. It was really neat to be able to bless these people with a smile, handshake, hug, and love that they do not receive on a regular basis because they have Leprosy.
*That evening, Kristina and I waited for at least one hour to get our hair done and the woman never showed up to do it. Welcome to Ghana J
For dinner we had Red Red with stew and fried plantains. I know this means nothing to you but you will see pictures when I get home and am able to post them. I didn’t mind this dinner, it was actually fairly good.
Next day:
Breakfast was an amazing omelet with the usual tea and coffee. The next Bible distribution was at one location but three different churches. Becka heard people talking in Ewe, the local language and lying so that they could get a Talking Bible. She talked with them and we did not give them Talking Bibles. The whole purpose of Talking Bibles is to give them to people who cannot read (illiterate) or are blind so they cannot see. Those who can read and understand English can read and understand an English Bible. We had a good assembly line going with the Talking Bibles and the team worked well, again. God showed me that we don’t have to have a set plan on who does what because it all works out anyways. We had noodles for lunch and that was tasty. We went to the Doctor’s house for dinner and here is where the challenge came. He served us Talapia (fish) in a bowl of soup that was very spicy. The talapia was served literally skin and all, head eyes included, inside the bowl. It was served with a rice ball. I had some as best as I could, and thankfully Jay kindly helped me out. I began feeling a bit homesick today and overwhelmed by eating the food here, wondering how I was going to make it for two months. I remembered that God is good and He will bless me as He already has in many ways. I also felt a little overwhelmed today thinking about teaching for sure this summer in Ghana, with no set curriculum or anything. Not really any supplies either. Going to be a challenging and growing experience. Becka said I will be teaching because there is a need and I am qualified.
This is just the beginning of my blog. I have been on and off the computer all day so I feel really bad and will continue on when I can. Just wanted to give you some sort of update. :)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Tentative Ghana Itinerary
Tentative Ghana Itinerary:
*John, Tara’s husband, from Ghana said that Ghana is the SAFEST country in Ghana. People in other countries in Africa actually retreat to Ghana because it is so safe and peaceful. Dora also said that Ghana is very safe.
Contact-EMERGENCIES only: (while team is in Ghana)
Sandy Riner, Vista Assembly of God
760-724-7099
June 17-June 29: Team will be travel from LAX to NY and NY to Accra, Ghana. From Accra, we will travel to Kpando, our final destination. We will be staying at a hotel nearby the Orphanage. Kpando is about 3-4 hours away from Accra, to my understanding. Over the course of two weeks, the team will be working closely with Ryvanz-Mia Orphanage. (P.O. Box 161, Kpando, Ghana, Volta Region, Ghana, West Africa) We will teach the Fruit of the Spirit Vacation Bible School here. We will also be doing Bible Distributions to different villages, where we will pass out the Talking Bibles to the poorest of the poor and the least educated and hang out with the children at the distributions. We will be visiting a Hospital to pray for the sick to be healed. This is a tentative schedule because Missions Trips are all about flexibility.
June 29-August 25: I do not know exact dates, but here are some things I have planned that God has put together and/or Becka has set up for us:
-June 18-28: Cross Connection Ghana Trip (All expenses already covered)
-June 29-July 10: Western Region of Ghana to work with FL Faith Child Orphanage (travel-$20, food/lodging $120)
-July 11-24: Return to Kpando: Work in schools or other volunteer placements (Food/lodging $100/wk)
-July 24: Accra to pick up Sam from Airport: Visit the children of a KG/lower primary school
-July 25-August 25: Work in Kpando (Food/lodging $100/wk)
-August 24: Head back to Accra, return to States (travel $5)
-Possibly at End of July: Visit Cape Coast for Panafest (Celebration of last American Slave trade) and see the slave castles and so forth. ($150.00/wk)
-Visit Dora’s Family: Dora is a woman I met at Vista Assembly of God. She was born and raised in Accra. Becka and I plan to visit her brother and niece for a few days at least, maybe one week. He will host us. Dora has been such a blessing to me and our team so I want to bless her family in return by visiting them and spending time with them.
-Visit Promise Land Ranch School: This is the only tuition free Christian School in Ghana. I met the founders of the School, Tara and John Essien. John is from Ghana. They live in the States. Tara has given me money to pay for Becka and I to stay at a nearby hotel so that we can spend time at Promise Land Ranch and with the staff and students. I met Tara and John via some friends who attend the same church as them San Diego Christian Center in Escondido.
Contacts in Ghana:
1. Dora’s Brother(Dora is who I met at Vista Assembly of God): Nsiah Akutteh
-He is an attorney
-His cell # is: (0244) 260-494 (You dial the 0 inside Ghana)
-His email address: nsiahakutteh@ghana.com
His Daughter: Teki 0244-099-541, tekiahkutteh@yahoo.com
2. Bashiru (Bash), Project Manager/Chief Financial Advisor/Director of Promise Land Ranch
-John and Tara Essien are the contacts in USA, founders of Promise Land Ranch (email is qstnlil@aol.com) John is from Ghana. This couple lives in Escondido. Tara’s cell # is (619-894-0797) if you have any questions feel free to contact them.
-Promise Land Ranch School is located in a seaside, fishing village named Prampram. The nearest, largest city is Tema. Prampram is about a 10 min drive from Tema.
-My plan is to visit this school and meet the students and teaching staff. Tara said she has spoken to Bash and he is expecting me. The hotel she stays in nearby is called SeaLane Hotel. (http:www.sealanehotel.com) She said we Becka and I can share an air conditioned room for $20.00 each night. Most of the staff there as well as the owner know Tara and John.
-After meeting Tara and John here, they offered and paid me for Becka and I to stay in Prampram and spend time at Promise Land Ranch and with the staff. The staff will show us around town, too.
3. Frank Adinkrah (Danielle Parker, a friend from my old Lifegroup, friend who used to live here but moved back to Ghana and is originally from Ghana) I can contact him if I need anything when I’m there. He has offered to help me with anything I need when I am in Ghana. He lived in the US for a short time a few years ago. He lives in Accra, now.
- Frankadinkrah@yahoo.com
4. Harley Phillips, chief in Ghana (He is my friend Kristina’s patient. I know her from the Movement. She gave me his contact info because he has contacts there) He is the chief in the Volta Region, which is near Kpando and has two villages there. If I hear back from him, I may visit his contacts there.
-African Angels Foundation
-www.africanangelsfoundation.org
-email: Harleysif@yahoo.com
5. BECKA Birman, the friend I will be living with in Kpando:
-Cell #: 011233200803327
-Email: beckabirman@gmail.com
It's all coming together.
Often times, we are in a situation and don't understand why or what is going on at the time. That is exactly where I was at about six months ago, in January 2011. I knew God was calling me to return to Africa, but I didn't know all that has happened over the last several months would be the outcome of that purpose.
It all began when I felt like I hit a wall in my spiritual walk with God. I wasn't growing very much and I started seeking Him for guidance. I knew I wanted to return to Africa, and I knew the church I was attending at the time (theMovement) was not big on National Missions, so I sought the Lord's guidance about where He wanted me to be. Little did I know what was to come by simply asking and being open to God's plan. Soon after praying, God told me to stop serving at this church. I didn't understand why, still. I loved the kids, I loved the people, I loved serving. But, I also love obeying God, so I took one step at a time. After that, He told me to stop going to the Bible Study I was attending, and the women in my Bible Study were in full support of this decision. They were the ones who said I needed to convince myself that it was okay for me to move into this so called new season with God. I was upset because I don't like change and I was afraid I would lose relationships/friendships. Soon after this I felt like the Lord was telling me my season/time was up at the Movement church. It was so hard for me to hear that from God and I honestly didn't know how to take it all in. I was upset because I had grown so much there over the course of three years and I loved the people. But I also knew it was time. I felt more disconnected (which I believe God did to make it a bit easier for me to move forward) and received the closure I needed through a divine appointment with the Pastor and receiving a blessing from the Pastor's wife.
The next step on this journey was to "church hunt". Well, I checked out a new church in the area (North Coast Calvary Chapel Carlsbad) and felt like it was a good fit for me. I really enjoyed everything about it. It especially had Mission Trip Opportunities, which was the biggest thing that was drawing me to it. I had a few friends who were attending this church and it was nice to have that set in place already. Well, it wasn't long before I felt the Lord tell me not to get too comfortable at this church. And so, I continued to ask God where He wanted me to be going to church. In the midst of all this, God told me "It's not about finding the 'right church' or 'best fit for you', it's about seeking me in Spirit and Truth".
A friend of mine asked me why I never checked out her church, Vista Assembly of God. She encouraged me to go check it out and I felt a strong urgency to be there. The Lord told me very specifically to go to this church by myself on a specific Sunday. I felt very uncomfortable at Vista Assembly and had never been to a church like it before. People were dancing in the front, speaking in tongues, and the lights were dim with the atmosphere like a concert. I didn't know how I felt about it, but I enjoyed the message. I knew the Lord wanted me to keep going back to this church despite my uncomfortableness with it, though. Every week, the sermon aligned with exactly what I was going through at the time. I went to the Pastor's Chat and felt really welcomed. A majority of my Ghana team attends Vista Assembly. It wasn't long before I began calling this my "home church" and consider it just that. I feel very comfortable and welcome there every week and I continue to grow on a whole new level in my relationship with God. At first I didn't want to go to this church because I didn't want to become a "crazy", which is a name I came up with myself for some reason. I was worried about what people would think of me. I was not even sure if I believed in the so called Supernatural. It was all new to me. But, as God was aligning this with other things in my life, the weekly sermon was exactly where I was at, and I saw miracles before my eyes, I could not deny the power of God that was present at this church, His Hands and Feet, and my life. You can call me a "crazy" now, you can call me weird, you can call me a Jesus Freak...whatever you want, but I know this is real and true and I am not ashamed. :) After being immersed in this and seeing a new side of God, I love it!
Another thing that has come together with God's purpose for me is my friends/mentors ministry, His Hands and Feet. This ministry sets out to equip people to be the Hands and Feet of Jesus Christ, learning to use the gifts God has given us and activating them. I remember very well when I attended the first meeting that someone said something about three months. At that time, I nudged my friend telling her that we will be leaving for Africa in exactly three months. God brought about this ministry at the time that I needed it to equip me to be the Hands and Feet of Jesus Christ in Ghana. And, here I am, equipped and ready to go, three months later. :)
Throughout the last six months, I have grown tremendously. I have had to rely on God like never before. One of the biggest and hardest things for me has been not being "connected". I believe God pulled me from relationships so that I could learn to rely on Him and Him alone. After all, that is what life is like as a Missionary. I did not get connected at Vista Assembly because I knew I would be gone for the entire summer. I did, however, begin to take a class there that has been equipping me even more as I prepare to go move to Ghana for the summer.
Another thing that came to mind as I reflect on the last six months is how everything did come together. The teachings at Vista Assembly of God and His Hands and Feet go hand in hand. Both teach you how to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit and listening to God's voice so that you can be the Hands and Feet of Jesus by putting your faith into action. Both teach that God moves in the Supernatural, and that is where we can move, too because we have His Spirit in us. After all, our faith is based on the fact that Jesus rose from the grave, and that is supernatural in and of itself! :)
When I began this new season in my life six months ago, I had no idea all of the above would come of it. It was challenging to go through so many changes. It was hard. It was sad. It was frustrating. But, now I can look back and it make sense. I get it now! God pulled me from one church, moved me to another, planted me at my final church all because He wanted to prepare me and equip me for what He has in store for me this summer in Ghana as a Missionary. I can now go to Ghana in a new confidence that I didn't have before, that God is with me and nothing will harm me, that the same power that raised Christ from the dead is in me, that I have authority to trample over the enemy, that healing and miracles are easy peasy for God. I've learned so much more about His character and I expect BIG things in Ghana.
If you are going through anything that is difficult, and you are battling with God trying to figure out why you are going through it, step back and rest in Him, knowing that you may not know at the time all the answers, but rest assured, one day it will all come together and you will be able to look back and see it clearly like I have with so many changes in so little time. Pursue Him as you seek to follow His voice and will for your life, and watch as He opens doors and blesses you beyond belief.
It all began when I felt like I hit a wall in my spiritual walk with God. I wasn't growing very much and I started seeking Him for guidance. I knew I wanted to return to Africa, and I knew the church I was attending at the time (theMovement) was not big on National Missions, so I sought the Lord's guidance about where He wanted me to be. Little did I know what was to come by simply asking and being open to God's plan. Soon after praying, God told me to stop serving at this church. I didn't understand why, still. I loved the kids, I loved the people, I loved serving. But, I also love obeying God, so I took one step at a time. After that, He told me to stop going to the Bible Study I was attending, and the women in my Bible Study were in full support of this decision. They were the ones who said I needed to convince myself that it was okay for me to move into this so called new season with God. I was upset because I don't like change and I was afraid I would lose relationships/friendships. Soon after this I felt like the Lord was telling me my season/time was up at the Movement church. It was so hard for me to hear that from God and I honestly didn't know how to take it all in. I was upset because I had grown so much there over the course of three years and I loved the people. But I also knew it was time. I felt more disconnected (which I believe God did to make it a bit easier for me to move forward) and received the closure I needed through a divine appointment with the Pastor and receiving a blessing from the Pastor's wife.
The next step on this journey was to "church hunt". Well, I checked out a new church in the area (North Coast Calvary Chapel Carlsbad) and felt like it was a good fit for me. I really enjoyed everything about it. It especially had Mission Trip Opportunities, which was the biggest thing that was drawing me to it. I had a few friends who were attending this church and it was nice to have that set in place already. Well, it wasn't long before I felt the Lord tell me not to get too comfortable at this church. And so, I continued to ask God where He wanted me to be going to church. In the midst of all this, God told me "It's not about finding the 'right church' or 'best fit for you', it's about seeking me in Spirit and Truth".
A friend of mine asked me why I never checked out her church, Vista Assembly of God. She encouraged me to go check it out and I felt a strong urgency to be there. The Lord told me very specifically to go to this church by myself on a specific Sunday. I felt very uncomfortable at Vista Assembly and had never been to a church like it before. People were dancing in the front, speaking in tongues, and the lights were dim with the atmosphere like a concert. I didn't know how I felt about it, but I enjoyed the message. I knew the Lord wanted me to keep going back to this church despite my uncomfortableness with it, though. Every week, the sermon aligned with exactly what I was going through at the time. I went to the Pastor's Chat and felt really welcomed. A majority of my Ghana team attends Vista Assembly. It wasn't long before I began calling this my "home church" and consider it just that. I feel very comfortable and welcome there every week and I continue to grow on a whole new level in my relationship with God. At first I didn't want to go to this church because I didn't want to become a "crazy", which is a name I came up with myself for some reason. I was worried about what people would think of me. I was not even sure if I believed in the so called Supernatural. It was all new to me. But, as God was aligning this with other things in my life, the weekly sermon was exactly where I was at, and I saw miracles before my eyes, I could not deny the power of God that was present at this church, His Hands and Feet, and my life. You can call me a "crazy" now, you can call me weird, you can call me a Jesus Freak...whatever you want, but I know this is real and true and I am not ashamed. :) After being immersed in this and seeing a new side of God, I love it!
Another thing that has come together with God's purpose for me is my friends/mentors ministry, His Hands and Feet. This ministry sets out to equip people to be the Hands and Feet of Jesus Christ, learning to use the gifts God has given us and activating them. I remember very well when I attended the first meeting that someone said something about three months. At that time, I nudged my friend telling her that we will be leaving for Africa in exactly three months. God brought about this ministry at the time that I needed it to equip me to be the Hands and Feet of Jesus Christ in Ghana. And, here I am, equipped and ready to go, three months later. :)
Throughout the last six months, I have grown tremendously. I have had to rely on God like never before. One of the biggest and hardest things for me has been not being "connected". I believe God pulled me from relationships so that I could learn to rely on Him and Him alone. After all, that is what life is like as a Missionary. I did not get connected at Vista Assembly because I knew I would be gone for the entire summer. I did, however, begin to take a class there that has been equipping me even more as I prepare to go move to Ghana for the summer.
Another thing that came to mind as I reflect on the last six months is how everything did come together. The teachings at Vista Assembly of God and His Hands and Feet go hand in hand. Both teach you how to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit and listening to God's voice so that you can be the Hands and Feet of Jesus by putting your faith into action. Both teach that God moves in the Supernatural, and that is where we can move, too because we have His Spirit in us. After all, our faith is based on the fact that Jesus rose from the grave, and that is supernatural in and of itself! :)
When I began this new season in my life six months ago, I had no idea all of the above would come of it. It was challenging to go through so many changes. It was hard. It was sad. It was frustrating. But, now I can look back and it make sense. I get it now! God pulled me from one church, moved me to another, planted me at my final church all because He wanted to prepare me and equip me for what He has in store for me this summer in Ghana as a Missionary. I can now go to Ghana in a new confidence that I didn't have before, that God is with me and nothing will harm me, that the same power that raised Christ from the dead is in me, that I have authority to trample over the enemy, that healing and miracles are easy peasy for God. I've learned so much more about His character and I expect BIG things in Ghana.
If you are going through anything that is difficult, and you are battling with God trying to figure out why you are going through it, step back and rest in Him, knowing that you may not know at the time all the answers, but rest assured, one day it will all come together and you will be able to look back and see it clearly like I have with so many changes in so little time. Pursue Him as you seek to follow His voice and will for your life, and watch as He opens doors and blesses you beyond belief.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Resting in His Presence.
This morning I woke up feeling a little anxious. There is too much to do and not enough time. It all comes to mind and I don't know where to start and it can be overwhelming, if I let it. I opened my Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young, and yet again, the timing and words from God were right on target. Hope this encourages you and helps you to Rest in His Presence today.
REST IN ME, MY CHILD. Give your mind a break from planning and trying to anticipate what will happen. Pray continually, asking My Spirit to take charge of the details of this day. Remember that you are on a journey with Me. When you try to peer into the future and plan for every possibility, you ignore your constant Companion who sustains you moment by moment. As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don't even feel the strong grip of My hand holding yours. How foolish you are, My child! Remembrance of Me is a daily discipline. Never lose sight of My Presence with you. This will keep you resting in Me all day, every day.
Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5:17; Psalm 62:5
REST IN ME, MY CHILD. Give your mind a break from planning and trying to anticipate what will happen. Pray continually, asking My Spirit to take charge of the details of this day. Remember that you are on a journey with Me. When you try to peer into the future and plan for every possibility, you ignore your constant Companion who sustains you moment by moment. As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don't even feel the strong grip of My hand holding yours. How foolish you are, My child! Remembrance of Me is a daily discipline. Never lose sight of My Presence with you. This will keep you resting in Me all day, every day.
Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5:17; Psalm 62:5
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Worry.
As I prepare to go to Africa in 10 days for 2 months, I find myself worrying about things more often than I'd like to. As homework from the Kingdom Life class at my church, we were instructed to listen to God every morning and ask Him what He has for us that day. Today, this is what He told me:
Pick up your sword and be ready and willing. In the same way I asked you to surrender your finances to me, I ask you to surrender the rest of your trip to me. Let me put the pieces together. You just step back, relax, listen to the Holy Spirit to guide you.
This song was in my head this morning as well. "Holy fire, burn away, my desire, for anything that is not of You and is of me, I want more of You and less of me. Empty me, empty me, fill me, won't you fill me with You."
Even after I heard from the Lord, I found myself feeling anxious and worried about the rest of the details. This goes to show you how quickly worry and anxiety can creep in. I was worrying about the finances again. God provided more money than the amount due and it paid for some Talking Bibles and my flight change. There was some money left over, and I asked the Lord what He wanted me to do with it, and of course He said give it away, most of it. So, now I don't have that much and it won't pay for the little things I need, including the additional money I need for the two months that I'll be living in Ghana. I know that my friends will be taking an offering for me this weekend at their night of ministry, and they will be in touch with me while I am in Ghana for anything I may need. They told me they want me to be their Missionary, and I am so blessed by that. :) But I was thinking to myself, ok, that money will go towards the rest of the needs before I leave and then what about the rest for the two months? As you can see, worry creeped in again and kept going...I do recognize that, the funds may not all come in before I go to Ghana, and that would mean I'm really living by faith, which is kinda fun if you think about it because I will be waiting to see how God will provide. He has already told me He will provide everything I need, but now its just a matter of timing.
After all this worry, I opened my devotional and it was right on target, which is totally how God works. :) The first time I read it, I was kinda thinking ok yeah, easy enough, thank you Lord. But then when I read it again, let it sink in, and immersed myself in all the other scriptures about worry, I began to feel at peace and able to that God will provide. We can read scripture easily, but it doesn't do any good unless we believe it and act on it. So, I wanted to share what I received from the Lord today about worry and hope that it blesses you.
*The woman who wrote this devotional is a Missionary and she wrote it from God's perspective, from Him giving her words like I got this morning above. The title of the devotional book is Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.
"I AM ALL AROUND YOU, like a cocoon of Light. My Presence with you is a promise, independent of your awareness of Me. Many things can block this awareness, but the major culprit is worry. My children tend to accept worry as an inescapable fact of life. However, worry is a form of unbelief; it is anathema to Me. Who is in charge of your life? If it is you, then you have a good reason to worry. But if it is I, then worry is both unnecessary and counterproductive. When you start to feel anxious about stomething, relinquish the situation to Me. Back off a bit, redirecting your focus to Me. I will either take care of the problem Myself or show you how to handle it. In this world, you will have problems, but you need not lose sight of Me." Scriptures she gave that relate are: Luke 12:22-31 and John 16:33
"So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things but your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-33
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
-PEACE comes AFTER we give our anxieties and worries to God.
"Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
After worrying about all the things above, especially about Africa and the stuff coming together in 10 days, God has given me that peace that it will all work out. He reminded me of His faithfulness in the past. A scripture he reminded me of for my situation is this:
And my God will meet ALL your NEEDS according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
My prayer is that you will be blessed by reading this blog about worry because of what God has spoken to me and shown me, and that today and every day you will choose not to accept worry, but instead choose to worry less. :)
Pick up your sword and be ready and willing. In the same way I asked you to surrender your finances to me, I ask you to surrender the rest of your trip to me. Let me put the pieces together. You just step back, relax, listen to the Holy Spirit to guide you.
This song was in my head this morning as well. "Holy fire, burn away, my desire, for anything that is not of You and is of me, I want more of You and less of me. Empty me, empty me, fill me, won't you fill me with You."
Even after I heard from the Lord, I found myself feeling anxious and worried about the rest of the details. This goes to show you how quickly worry and anxiety can creep in. I was worrying about the finances again. God provided more money than the amount due and it paid for some Talking Bibles and my flight change. There was some money left over, and I asked the Lord what He wanted me to do with it, and of course He said give it away, most of it. So, now I don't have that much and it won't pay for the little things I need, including the additional money I need for the two months that I'll be living in Ghana. I know that my friends will be taking an offering for me this weekend at their night of ministry, and they will be in touch with me while I am in Ghana for anything I may need. They told me they want me to be their Missionary, and I am so blessed by that. :) But I was thinking to myself, ok, that money will go towards the rest of the needs before I leave and then what about the rest for the two months? As you can see, worry creeped in again and kept going...I do recognize that, the funds may not all come in before I go to Ghana, and that would mean I'm really living by faith, which is kinda fun if you think about it because I will be waiting to see how God will provide. He has already told me He will provide everything I need, but now its just a matter of timing.
After all this worry, I opened my devotional and it was right on target, which is totally how God works. :) The first time I read it, I was kinda thinking ok yeah, easy enough, thank you Lord. But then when I read it again, let it sink in, and immersed myself in all the other scriptures about worry, I began to feel at peace and able to that God will provide. We can read scripture easily, but it doesn't do any good unless we believe it and act on it. So, I wanted to share what I received from the Lord today about worry and hope that it blesses you.
*The woman who wrote this devotional is a Missionary and she wrote it from God's perspective, from Him giving her words like I got this morning above. The title of the devotional book is Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.
"I AM ALL AROUND YOU, like a cocoon of Light. My Presence with you is a promise, independent of your awareness of Me. Many things can block this awareness, but the major culprit is worry. My children tend to accept worry as an inescapable fact of life. However, worry is a form of unbelief; it is anathema to Me. Who is in charge of your life? If it is you, then you have a good reason to worry. But if it is I, then worry is both unnecessary and counterproductive. When you start to feel anxious about stomething, relinquish the situation to Me. Back off a bit, redirecting your focus to Me. I will either take care of the problem Myself or show you how to handle it. In this world, you will have problems, but you need not lose sight of Me." Scriptures she gave that relate are: Luke 12:22-31 and John 16:33
"So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things but your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:31-33
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
-PEACE comes AFTER we give our anxieties and worries to God.
"Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
After worrying about all the things above, especially about Africa and the stuff coming together in 10 days, God has given me that peace that it will all work out. He reminded me of His faithfulness in the past. A scripture he reminded me of for my situation is this:
And my God will meet ALL your NEEDS according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
My prayer is that you will be blessed by reading this blog about worry because of what God has spoken to me and shown me, and that today and every day you will choose not to accept worry, but instead choose to worry less. :)
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