A Gentle Giant and a Sweet Lion

The Lord has spoken to me recently about being a gentle giant and a sweet lion. It sounds strange, I know, but it will make sense if you continue to read this.

During worship or prayer at some point in time during my dts thus far, I remember seeing a picture in my mind of a lion laying down. The lion was at rest and looked sweet. Then the lion got up slowly and gave a loud and fierce roar. I believe the Lord was speaking to me about being a sweet lion. I felt as though He was telling me that I am a sweet lion, who can be sweet yet fierce. I can rest in His presence and be sweet yet when needed I can stand up and be fierce. I can defeat the enemy with my "loud roar" that comes out of nowhere because I am most often resting sweetly. I believe God is going to give me wisdom and an ability to know when I need to be that fierce lion and attack the enemy or go fiercely after something that is not of God, whether it be in prayer for someone or simply a tactic to resist the enemy. *I have noticed this in myself recently. I'm not a loud person, but a few times when I've prayed for people, I have felt an authority and fierceness in my tone and manner of praying for them and it's the lion coming out in me. I'm angry that the enemy is attacking them or myself and I speak with authority in my voice instructing anything not of God to flee. It's righteous anger, like Jesus had in the Bible. It's different than a gentle tender prayer but it's not a yelling or screaming prayer.

Today my small group was praying for me. During this time, a woman said that she felt the Lord was telling her that I am a gentle giant. I immediately thought of David in the Bible, who has been close to my heart, too. David and I are similar (hence the blog a girl after God's own heart...just like David was a man after God's own heart) I am gentle but I have a giant heart. This heart is full of compassion for others and out of it love overflows. That's right on target if you know me. Another person said that I am a safe place for people to come and tell me anything. I'm trustworthy and people are drawn to me because God has given me an ability to be a safety net for people. As I was receieving these prayers and listening, God gave me a further reminder and revelation of something He's spoken to me about before that might be of encouragement to those of you who have a heart similar to mine that loves to give and pour out onto others any chance you get.

In order to pour out onto others, I need to be filled first with Jesus. He needs to be my top priority. This might mean waking up earlier than everyone else and refueling in the evenings. It may mean listening to worship music in the middle of the day. It may mean I'm praying often. Whatever it looks like, it means that I make time at the start of my day, preferably, to fill up on Jesus. I need to get in the Word, pray, and listen to worship music to be filled up. What you need might look different, but as long as you keep Jesus as number one you will be filled. This attitude enables us to have a heart that is blessed so that we can be a blessing. It gives us the ability to be interrupted by people throughout the day and willingness to listen and be engaged in whatever you discuss with them. It gives us the opportunity to pray for others. It is the others oriented attitude and focus. This is so important for those of us who consider ourselves followers of Jesus Christ because if we are not filled we cannot pour out onto others. We cannot give away what we do not have.

For me, this past week and maybe even longer, I have been dwelling on my sin, my struggles, what I want to accomplish and what I want to do with my time here in Kona. Me, me, me. I've been texting people to pray for me. I've been focused on my circumstances and challenges that are going on in my life. I have been discouraged and down. I've felt crappy. I've focused on my sin and struggles which causes me to feel like a failure. And last night, I was so sick of it! I told God I'm tired on dwelling on all of the discouragement. He didn't bring me out here to Kona to go through YWAM and be discouraged. He brought me out to teach me how to turn to Him in the midst of my struggles and challenges and be an overcomer. He's teaching me how to depend on Him and Him alone. So, I realized that I am the only one who can change this cycle of sin dwelling on my discouragements. I am responsible for my thoughts and what I focus on. I am responsible for how I respond to difficult circumstances. I am responsible for making Jesus a priority. Nobody else can pray for me to change, nobody else can do anything to make me change. It has to be me. So, I sat down with God and said I'm tired of failing and feeling like a failure. I asked Him to help me set goals that I can achieve for the week. I asked Him to help me be others oriented and take the focus off of myself. I committed to being others focused not me focused this week! I am going to be looking for opportunities to bless people around me, whether it be encouraging words, prophecy, buying them a coffee, praying for them, or letting them have my time that I would rather use to read or something. In doing so, I know that God will multiply my time by giving me time to accomplish the things I desire, after I bless others. I need to trust Him to meet all of my needs. And I've seen Him do that. Today has been a successful day. I've been able to bless others with words, prayers, and encouragement. I've been filled with imeasureable joy. I woke up early and filled up on Jesus and I had the energy I needed throughout the day to be present in every moment. I have fixed my eyes and thoughts on Jesus and rebuked Satan. I've renewed my mind. I've been obedient to His voice and feel confident that I've made the most of my time. And because of all of the above, those around me were able to be blessed who might have missed out on that encouragement or prayer they needed had I been focused on myself.

My prayer is that I can keep this up every day and make it my lifestyle. It takes discipline to wake up early and fill up on Jesus. It is a daily decision to put others before myself. It is a daily battle for me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and not my problems, but I'm trusting that I can do all things through Christ. I'm taking it one day at a time as God teaches me how to live a life attentive to His voice and following the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I'm believing that every day can be like it has been today because God is good and He desires that I have a good attitude and His heart is to encourage and bless others. Keep your focus in the right place so that you can be a blessing to those around you. :)